He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
