I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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