Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
