Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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