HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
