I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
