Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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