I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
