so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
