i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
