You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
