Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
