no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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