Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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