Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
