this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
