dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
