Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
