Church boner. Awkwardddd
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
