she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
