Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
