I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
