did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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