sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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