I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize