He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
