Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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