Im at strip club and am horny
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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