I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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