whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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