so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
