we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
