Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
When did angry sex become our thing?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
