just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
