zippers are such a cool invention
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
