Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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