Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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