Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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