Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
