But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
