i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just made my gag reflex go away.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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