Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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