Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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