When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
