you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
