I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
