Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry olemissballa hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(586): View more from Michigan

If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me

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(304): View more from West Virginia

i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.

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(347): View more from New York

i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had

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(325): View more from Texas

As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,

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(815): View more from Illinois

sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now

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(270): View more from Kentucky

no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake

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(847): View more from Illinois

You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.

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(309): View more from Illinois

I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.

(1-309): View more from Illinois

This is why I'm single.

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