This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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