If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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