A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
