Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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