He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
