My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
