one might say we're banned from that church
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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