Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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