Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I need a beard to bite.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
