Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm getting married
To pizza
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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