so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
