i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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