It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
