All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
