How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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