i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
