Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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