how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
