I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
