I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize