Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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