Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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