i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
