it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
