I molested 6 butterflies tonight
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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