Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
